Virtual Commencement
こんにちは。まずは近況報告。
今日学校側が計画したヴァーチャル卒業式が開催された。卒業式のスピーチを任されたゲストが脚本家と作家のネールゲイマン。作家なだけあってスピーチが上手かった。彼はサイエンスフィクションの物語を沢山出版しているだけあって、これから今年の卒業生がするべきことの例えとしてサイエンスフィクションを挙げた。
卒業式のウェブサイトが今日の午前十時に公開されました。十時って言われていたので生配信でスピーチをしてくれるのかと思いきやすでに録画されたスピーチ四つと卒業した学生の名前がリストアップされたものだった。じゃあわざわざ朝の十時に起きる必要なかったじゃんって怒るクラスメイトが多数。それを想定していたのか建築学部の教授たちが集まってみんなで Zoom で乾杯して最後に話そうという内容のEメールが届いていた。過去五年間僕ら生徒を躊躇なく叩きのめして来て、中もいい教授もいれば過去５年間怖すぎて顔すら見れない教授も参加していた。教授たちがおめでとうって言った後に生徒側に最後に言いたいことある？って聞いて来て。僕は特になかった。こんな状況で Zoom を通じて教授やみんなの前でスピーチで来る奴なんて学校に気に入られた奴らだけだった。
これこそが僕が建築学部を気に入らなかった理由の一つです。成績やプロジェクトを出版される回数で将来の成功率が決まってくる。なのにこっちの建築学部は数学や計算にあんまり力を入れずアートの方に集中している。そのため結果を残すにはどうしても教授に気に入られる必要があるんです。計算だと合っている答えが限られていますがアートは正解がない。そのため勉強しなくてもゴマスリで結構成功できてしまうんです。過去に日本の建築事務所でインターンシップしていた時に正社員の方にお話を聞いたらあっちではデザイン力と数学両方に同じぐらい力入れるらしいです。
こっちでは正解がない上に、教授が二人いる時もある。となると教授が別の意見を自分に押し付けて意地を張り合ったりする時もある。会社に例えると上司たちがいうことが違いすぎてやることが分からなくなるのと同じです。
最近日本の Youtuber にはまっていて。こっちではもう Youtube が面白かった時期は過ぎてしまったけど日本では今が一番面白くなって来た気がしてます。で、メンタリストのダイゴさんのチャンネルでメンタルが病みやすい特性をリストアップしている動画を見てそれの上位に必ずある条件が自分の目的が分からない職場です。ちなみに他の条件もほぼ全部僕の大学では揃っています。僕もちなみに三年ぐらいはやばいぐらい病んでしまいました。得られるものは大きいけど代償も大きいということです。
それもやっと無事終えることができて迎えた卒業式。ゲストスピーカーがとにかく凄かったんです。
彼のスピーチのだいたいのあらすじをシェアしたいと思います。まず現実に起こっていることに疑問を持つことがサイエンスフィクションの作家になるための最初のステップだと言ってました。”what if” （もし）と “if only”（さえ）の違いについて語っていました。”what if” は現実では起こり得ない事態を想定した時に使う用語で “if only” は現実の理想版を語っている時に使用する用語だと。この画面越しの卒業式も普通の僕たちからすれば “what if” の話で、それに対し “if only” はこの事態がいち早く回復するシナリオの話。日本に言い変えると “もしいつかあぶないウィルスが地球中に広まって外出禁止になればどうなるんだろう？” と “もしコロナに効くワクチンが二週間で出来あがれば” みたいな理想論。両方とも非現実的なお話をする時に使う用語です。
彼のメッセージは ”もし” アートや想像力を使ってこの世の中を自分の理想の場所にできるのなら。今年卒業した生徒たちがそれを実現化させてみんなが理想とする大人に “さえ” なればこの世の中を今より全然いい場所にできるということだった。
そう言われればやりたいことはいっぱいあるなーってやる気が出た反面できるかなーって不安がこみ上げて来た。今の世の中のシステムとかの大半は正直好きじゃないんです。これもいちいち説明すれば長くなりますのでそのうち機会があれば他のブログに載せます。
もうほんっとやるしかないよね。一応もう大人だし。
キース
Hi!
Updates.
The virtual commencement was held today. Neil Gaiman was our guest speaker. As expected from a renowned author of science fiction novels and TV shows, his speech was very impactful. He compared our goals as future members of society to science fiction.
Before I explain the content of his speech, I wanted to give some context on how this commencement took place. We were told by the school via email that the commencement website would be available starting from 10 AM. It was a website that included four speeches including Neil Gaiman, a video of two students singing the alma mater song and a list of all the students who is graduating. They were very specific with the time, so we were all expecting a live broadcast of the speeches. I remember some of my classmates being underwhelmed, and upset about the fact that they could’ve slept past 10 if it wasn’t for this. The faculty of architecture, perhaps having predicted this, have sent us a Zoom invitation to casually celebrate the occasion, exclusively with the undergraduate architecture community. This included professors I enjoyed, professors who were rumored to be so scary and intimidating that I could never look in the eyes, and other students. After all the faculties congratulated us, they asked if anyone of us would like to say something. I had nothing to say. Not to mention, I was extremely nervous to talk in front of the professors through Zoom. Only those who were either heavily involved in the school affairs or received special honors and were closer to the professors than the rest of us had the courage.
This is one of the flaws of architecture schools. If you think about it, your future success depends on how many times you get published, or how well your grades are. For these to happen, it is a prerequisite that your professors like you. According to one of my supervisors in my previous internship, Japanese architecture schools focus equally on the calculation aspect and the design aspect of the major. Here, it is heavily focused on design. Therefore the assessment of projects become more subjective. This results in favoritism amongst students. There are students who goes along with the whole system and works hard to be loved by professors. On the other hand there are students who fail to do so, either because they failed to grasp this system, or upon having a full understanding of how this whole thing works, they felt strongly against it and became very unmotivated. Unfortunately, I was the later. I didn’t see any benefit in learning how to be liked by professors. Theoretically, students can survive the five-year course just by being liked by professors instead of actually learning skills that are going to be useful in society. If I was aiming for only numbers and grades, I could have just followed the system but I just couldn’t bring myself to do so.
Also, there were cases where there were two or more professors guiding you throughout the semester. Unlucky sections get two professors that think very differently.Two professors who say polar opposite things. In this case, the two professors try to compete against each other in terms of who is giving the students the “best” advice instead of coordinating with each other. Their pride as an architect is on the line. Again, in such a subjective field, how do you even determine which one is "better"? If this was a company, there would be few bosses and all of them would be telling you to give priority to different tasks.
Recently, I have been checking out Japanese Youtubers. America has already gone through the golden age of Youtube. But in Japan Youtube is about to enter the golden age. There is a series of video by the renowned Japanese mentalist, Daigo, where he lists up office conditions that are the most harmful to employee’s mental health. Not knowing what to do in the office because of different bosses giving you different instructions were one of the top conditions. If you’re thinking of going to an architecture school in the states, please be advised that all of the conditions listed by Daigo can be found in architecture schools, therefore make sure that you are 100% passionate about architecture before committing
I still can’t believe I finished architecture school. I was so glad to hear Neil Gaiman’s speech for commencement. It was such an incredible speech.
He was stating the difference between “what if” and “if only”. The first one is used to describe an unrealistic scenario. “What if there is a pandemic that forces all human interaction to happen only through screen?” This whole event was a “what if” scenario. “If only” is used to describe the ideal scenario where a current problem is fixed. “If only the vaccine is discovered any time soon so that everything goes back to normal”. He then applied these terms to describe what to do with the skills we acquired in school. “What if” we have the power to change the world into a better place and become the kind of adults we see as ideal? “If only” we have enough determination to continue running towards this goal.
This made me realize how much I want to change this world. It is full of irrational systems like the one I saw in school. This is the basis for all injustice that is taking place in this world right now. I was hit by a wave of motivation. But I was overwhelmed upon realizing how much effort it would take to achieve this.
I guess I got no choice but to pull through. No turning back at this point.
Good day / night.
Keith
New Chapter
こんにちは。
キースです。
建築学部卒業したてで、就活中です。新しいチャプターの幕開けでもあり、さらにアメリカにいる間に忘れかけている日本語を練習する機会にもなると思いブログ、初めてみました。状況は最悪だけどなんとなく形勢逆転できる気がするんだよなー。なんとなくだけど。根拠ないけど。
人生山あり谷あり。（この表現の使い方あっとる？w）
日記を更新していく中絶対僕のモチベーションの浮き沈みの激しさが見れると思うので、それも含めて楽しんでください（汗）。
まず近況報告。初めてなので僕自身のバックグラウンドも含めて書きます。今回だけ少し長くなるのでめんどくさかったらとばしてください。w
現在状況は正直厳しいです。アメリカ国籍を持っていない生徒たちは大学卒業後OPTと言う制度により一年間アメリカで働くことを許されています。その期間中９０日間の無職期間が与えられていて、その９０日以上無職になった場合、６０日間荷物をまとめる有余を与えられ、すぐ帰国しなければなりません。つまり大学卒業後OPTが有効になってから就活している日数全てがその９０日間からカウントダウンされてしまうわけです。コロナで職を失っている現地の方々をみて、やばいなーと思いつつ希望はまだ捨てていません。
物心ついた時から国際学園に通わされていたのでいずれ海外で経験を積むことを親から期待されてきたんだと思います。恵まれてて幸せだなーと思う反面期待重いなーって思っちゃうこともあります。僕は特別頭が言い訳でもなく努力をすることに優れているわけでもない。勉強や成績もめっちゃ平均。たまたま親が天才でデキるだけ。
なんかね、わがままにきこえてしまうかもしれないけど。言わせて。
海外の大学にいかせてくれているのは非常にありがたいことです (ちなみに Pratt Institute ってところです)。宝くじに当たったみたいに、ラッキーだよ。けど当時１８歳のちんちくりんな僕が、自分が将来やりたいこと、わかっていたと思いますか？
無論。（使い方あっとる？汗）
自己分析、職種研究、両方とも劣っていました。
親がここまでインベストしてくれたのにこの学部はちょっと違うなーってなってしまって。ここまで恵まれた環境にいるのにやりたいこと見つけられてない。劣等感。建築デザイン好きだけど、絶対もっとそれより他にやりたいこともある。自分にもっとあった仕事絶対あるんですよ。一生建築デザイナーでいたくない理由はまた後ほど。
幼い子が Youtube やテレビで成功すると親が管理するでしょう？ちゃんと自己分析する前に大きな特権を貰っちゃったら、自分にとってベストな使い方が絶対できないわけですよ。僕の場合、１８の時に海外の大学に行って来なよって親に言われて、嬉しくて。１００％やりたい事じゃなくても頑張ったら無駄にはならないから行っておいでって。優しいよね。でも１００％やりたい事じゃないって気付いたら１００％の実力を発揮できなくて。
でも今はできる限りのことをやることで後に転職するときとか大学院行く時に有利になるって信じて全力発揮してます。１００％やりたい事やって稼げるほど世の中甘くないし。やるしかないっしょ。
ザックリこんな感じです。
ということで、今はこっちで建築デザイナーの仕事を探そうと思います。今自分が持っているスキルではそれしかできないけど、社会人になったら違うスキルも身につくだろう。あとで建築やっぱ違うなーってなったら転職すればいいし。
今大変厳しい状況の中就活している人たちもたくさんいると思います。少しでも ”一人じゃない、他にも同じ状況の人がいる” って思えてもらえたら嬉しいです。
よろしく。
キース
Hey!
I'm Keith.
Just finished my architecture degree, and started looking for jobs. I've begun a whole new chapter of my life, an thought it would be cool to document it. I also thought it would be a great opportunity to practice my deteriorating Japanese skills.
My job hunting situation is pretty bad right now, but I have a hunch that it's gonna turn out well. I might just be overly optimistic, given how much I'm procrastinating recently.
In Japanese, there's an expression saying, "life is full of mountains and valleys", meaning there are ups and downs. I feel like I am exiting the valleys and going to the mountain phase of life right now. Again, this is merely a hunch.
Throughout my posts, you'll probably witness the "mountains and valleys" in my motivation. I hope you find it as entertaining as all my friends do.
First off, I would like to update you on my current situation. Since this is my first blog, I am going to explain a little bit of my background too, so this will probably the longest post I will write in a long time. Feel free to skip this if it feels like a hassle.
Frankly, it's rough out there! Since I'm an international student in the US, I can only work here for a year by using a student visa benefit called OPT (Optional Practical Training). During my OPT, I am only allowed to be unemployed for 90 days. When the 90 days are up, I am given 60 days to pack up my belongings and immediately leave the country. Therefore, starting from July 1st (starting date of my OPT period) the 90 day countdown is going to start, and I would have to find a job as soon as possible. I am keeping track of the constantly growing percentage of unemployment due to COVID-19, as a reminder of how harsh the situation is, but I have not given up hopes yet.
Given the fact that I attended an international school in Japan since I was three, I am probably right to assume that my parents always expected me to work outside of Japan. This is seen as something very privileged back home, and it can only be achieved in two ways - either you're very academically intelligent or your parents are successful. I am the later. Sometimes I feel very fortunate I was given such privilege, but on the other hand it sometimes feels very pressuring. I grew up with average grades and average capability to hustle. Absolutely incomparable to my parents.
I might sound like a spoiled brat but let me put it out there.
Again I'm super thankful that my parents sent me to Pratt Institute. It feels like the "I have won the lottery" kind of lucky. But do you think the naive little 18-year-old Keith have known what he wanted to do with his life?
Nope.
I had a lot to learn about myself, and I had a lot of career researching to do. I knew nothing about the world. Honestly I still have a lot of learning and self-reflection to do.
My parents have invested so much on me, yet I felt like I didn't completely fit into my major. I still haven't found what I want to do with my life despite receiving so much from my parents. I like architecture, but throughout my time in college, I discovered it is not something that I want to do in the long term (I will come back to this in my other blog posts).
See, when a young child succeeds in Youtube or TV, I don't know how it works here but in Japan, their money and fame are managed by the parents or guardians of the child. It is believed that one should fully know themselves before receiving such power, so that they can use it as efficiently as possible. If they are mature enough, they would know what they want to do with their lives and can use their "power" accordingly instead of misusing it. Having said this, I feel like we are all too young when we are given the "power" to choose where to go for college. We receive a lot of power and decision making liberty at 18 years of age. My parents kindly encouraged me back then to study abroad here in New York, and told me to go explore the world. They believed that even if I lose my passion to becoming an architect, the effort I had put into the coursework will not be in vain. But there were times I felt I really didn't belong in the design field, which impeded me from putting 100% of my energy and effort into it. Perhaps this is an excuse for graduating with a rather mediocre GPA.
I eventually came to terms with this whole train of thought, and concluded that I will still give architecture a try. By working in offices and designing as an employee rather than a student, I am sure I will gain a lot of experience that will be useful when I go to graduate school, or when I want to transfer to a different profession. And who knows? I might even like it more as an employee rather than a student. Plus the world is a harsh place: most people survive by doing jobs that they are not 100% passionate about. Are there even professions that don't have any negative aspects to it?
Alright, so this was a summarized version of my current situation. I am still looking for design related jobs, since design is the only thing I can do with my current skillsets. I look forward to gaining office experience. If I get tired of it, I can always look into other fields.
In addition to documenting my adventures, I hope this blog reaches others who are searching for jobs in the midst of a global pandemic. You're not alone, and I hope this documentation eases others who are in a similar situation as myself.
Good day / night.
Keith
